Mini pecan pies. Maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. MINI.PECAN.PIES.  If you’re not jerking off with your cupcake tin right now, well then friend, you’re simply doing life wrong.I was never much of a pie person. It’s not that my soul had shriveled up into a dry, lifeless husk, it’s just that I didn’t really like the ratio of filling to pie crust. I wanted something between a Poptart and a full-fledged pie. So I made mini pies. I am not the first person to do this. I AM probably the first to sexualize them so much.What can I say, it’s hard to be a pioneer. Ingredients: 1 box store-bought pie crust dough A NOTE: I had not started making my own at this time. You may do so.1 cup corn syrup1 cup brown sugar1 dash salt1/3 cup melted butter1 and 1/2 tsp vanilla3 eggs2 and 1/2 cup roasted, dicedInstructions: Grease baking tins. Cut out small circles of pie crust and line a cupcake or mini cupcake baking tin. Set in the fridge to keep cool. Cream together corn syrup, sugar, salt, butter and vanilla. Whisk eggs until mixed but not frothy. Combine and beat until batter is lumpless. Fill pie crusts with your batter. Spoon in small quantities of crushed pecans, letting some sink and some stay on the surface. Bake at 350F for 20 minutes, or until tops have risen and sunk again. Shove down your throat. Baby. I have no idea how many this recipe makes, I was too busy eating them to count shit. Eat them with your face. Throw them at people you admire but fear. Fatten your neighborhood squirrels with them. Your call, dude. Shut up and bake these.

Mini pecan pies.

Maybe you didn’t hear me correctly.

MINI.
PECAN.
PIES. 

If you’re not jerking off with your cupcake tin right now, well then friend, you’re simply doing life wrong.

I was never much of a pie person. It’s not that my soul had shriveled up into a dry, lifeless husk, it’s just that I didn’t really like the ratio of filling to pie crust. I wanted something between a Poptart and a full-fledged pie. So I made mini pies. I am not the first person to do this. I AM probably the first to sexualize them so much.

What can I say, it’s hard to be a pioneer. 

Ingredients: 
1 box store-bought pie crust dough
A NOTE: I had not started making my own at this time. You may do so.
1 cup corn syrup
1 cup brown sugar
1 dash salt
1/3 cup melted butter
1 and 1/2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
2 and 1/2 cup roasted, diced

Instructions:

  1. Grease baking tins.
  2. Cut out small circles of pie crust and line a cupcake or mini cupcake baking tin.
  3. Set in the fridge to keep cool.
  4. Cream together corn syrup, sugar, salt, butter and vanilla.
  5. Whisk eggs until mixed but not frothy.
  6. Combine and beat until batter is lumpless.
  7. Fill pie crusts with your batter.
  8. Spoon in small quantities of crushed pecans, letting some sink and some stay on the surface.
  9. Bake at 350F for 20 minutes, or until tops have risen and sunk again.
  10. Shove down your throat. Baby.

I have no idea how many this recipe makes, I was too busy eating them to count shit. Eat them with your face. Throw them at people you admire but fear. Fatten your neighborhood squirrels with them. Your call, dude. Shut up and bake these.

1 year ago
  1. shutupandbakeit posted this